Thursday, March 10, 2011

The first steps in my quest

My self-discovery quest begins today. 

A.  First I need to ask some fundamental questions to become grounded.
  • Who am I?  question in cloud
  • What is my purpose in life?
  • What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
  • What is holding me back?
B.  After I have done a little soul-searching, next I need to review “The Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
  1. Do not take anything personally.  Nothing others do or say is because of you.  It simply reflects their own life experiences and the training they received as children.
  2. Do not make assumptions.  Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want.  Communicate clearly and do not become attached to preconceived ideas of what should happen.
  3. Always do your best.  Then, never second-guess or look back with regret.
All three agreements are important, but “not taking anything personally” will change my life.  When I take something personally, I feel offended and my natural reaction is to defend my beliefs and ideas.  This creates conflict. 

Live without fear by trusting that I am making responsible choices.  If I maintain a positive, loving attitude there is no room for negative thoughts and emotions.

And, most importantly, give myself permission to be happy and to enjoy life.

anger management

C.  When anger or frustration appears in my life …
  1. Before reacting, breathe correctly for sixty seconds.  Breathing will relax me and give me time to think things through and not just react.
  2. Ask these questions.
    1. Is it really important?  Will it be important in a week, month or year?
    2. Is my anger or frustration appropriate?  Perform a cost/benefit analysis by asking if getting angry is going to buy me anything?
    3. Can the situation by modified (changed) by looking at it differently or asking for help?  Give myself permission to ‘let it go’ (not become involved).
  3. Consider all the options.  Not everything can be fixed.  Is it worth taking action?  If yes, what would be the appropriate action?
  4. If action is necessary, take the time to organize my thoughts.  Always think things through before acting.
Okay, I have some work to do.  Thanks for listening.

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