My Quest

Quest:  A search or pursuit made in order to find or obtain something.

Several times over the last couple of years I have written about my journey of self-discovery.  My quest actually began in the ‘70s’.  I felt a void and began asking myself, “Who am I?”  “What is my purpose in life?”

At the time I was into Maslow’s Theory concerning man’s  Hierarchy of Needs.  I have written about Maslow in an earlier post.  In brief, he believed that man (in the broad sense – humankind) was a seeker.  That there was a natural (instinctual) nagging inside of all of us.  That nagging tells us “there has to be more.”

The concept follows that before a person could consider any higher needs, he/she had to feel comfortable with the current situation.  To me, living with Kennedy’s Disease is something we have to feel comfortable with before we can move on.  It becomes a major part of our acceptance process.

In September 24, 2009’s article I explained why I started this blog. 

I feel the process of 'accepting' (living with and not fighting) Kennedy's Disease is not just something that happens. It is a learning process. Acceptance does not bring happiness or comfort. Instead, 'acceptance' means you are now able to acknowledge, understand, and deal with the reality of the situation. With acceptance, life can once again begin to move forward.

I went on to say, If I shortened this post to one sentence, it would be, "I believe that part of my process of learning to live with (accept) Kennedy's Disease is to help others going down the same path."



Maslow also indicated that man is inherently lazy (my term).  Once he/she had achieved a certain fulfillment of needs, he/she felt comfortable in wallowing around in (enjoying) this new world.

I am a wallow’r.  Throughout my adult life I would reach a point where I was quite comfortable and took the time to enjoy it.  And, like the theory explains, at some point I find it is just not enough and I again ask, “Who am I” and “Is this all there is?” 

It usually takes a ‘kick in the butt’ to make a person realize that there “has to be more.”  My most recent and constant ‘kick’ is Kennedy’s Disease.  Every time I become accepting of my current condition, it changes (strength declines).  I feel this decline is another reminder (wake-up call) that my focus has been on the physical and psychological aspects of my life (i.e., living with Kennedy’s Disease) and has drifted away from my real quest of self-discovery. 



I have to once again accept that “my world (current reality) is a result of my thoughts and beliefs.  My only limitations are those that are self-imposed (doubts, fears, perceptions, etc.). 

The ‘stepping stone’ that I am currently standing on (*) has become too comfortable.  I have hesitated … and not tried to take the next step.  I am realizing that my focus has been on the acceptance process for too long and not on “what is next.” 

I need to take that next step.  In other words, it is “soul-searching” time again.

(*)  These stepping stones are my life’s path.  I mention them in my header article (top right of this page), “We all have to learn to live with Kennedy’s Disease.”