Our Thoughts Control Our Lives

I mentioned in earlier posts this Rolodex on my desk called “The Attitude Builder.” There are 52 cards containing positive affirmations. On the back of each card is a short explanation of the concept. While considering my recent slide, I flipped over the next card and BAMB! There it is - the answer I need.

“The most powerful force I have is what I say to myself and believe”

As I considered the above concept, I flipped over the card and read,
 

I am controlled by what I accept and believe.

So, I choose to believe only things that are loving and beneficial.

There have been times in my life where my negativity created a crappy day. I wonder how many times I have asked, “What else could go wrong today?”

Living with Kennedy’s Disease is “mind over matter.” If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. 😜

Life doesn’t have to be as difficult as I make it sometimes. My attitude and my ‘self-talk’ can create moments of chaos or moments of joy. I’ll choose joy anytime. 

Habits; curse them or love them

A habit is a regularly repeated routine or behavior. The majority of our habits occur subconsciously. For most people, good habits are difficult to form and bad habits are even more difficult to break. 

I smoked for several years in the late teens and early twenties. When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was reach for a cigarette. As soon as I sat down in my car, I reached for one. After every meal, I reached into my shirt pocket for one. Even a year after I quit smoking, I would automatically reach towards my shirt pocket after a meal. The imprint of reaching for a cigarette was there long after the nicotine urge was gone. Nicotine was the addiction, but unconsciously reaching for a cigarette was the habit.

Wikipedia discusses habit formation in this way.

Habit formation is the process by which a behavior, through regular repetition, becomes automatic or habitual. This process of habit formation can be slow. Lally, et al, found the average time for participants to reach the point where it is an actual habit was 66 days (with a range of 18–254 days).

As the habit is forming, it can be analyzed in three parts: the cue, the behavior, and the reward. The cue is the thing that causes the habit to come about, the trigger of the habitual behavior. This could be anything that one's mind associates with that habit and one will automatically let a habit come to the surface. The behavior is the actual habit that one exhibits, and the reward, a positive feeling, therefore continues the "habit loop". A habit may initially be triggered by a goal, but over time that goal becomes less necessary and the habit becomes more automatic.

… The key to changing habits is to identify your cue and modify your routine and reward.

Not all habits are bad. My daily exercise program is a good habit. Every morning I exercise before breakfast. If something happens that throws my routine off, my subconscious nags at me until I take the time to exercise. My reward is how I feel afterward.

And, the easiest way to quit a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. 

My words of power for today are:

I only embrace good habits

So how does one get started in eliminating bad habits?

1. Identify: You start by identifying your habits’ cues and rewards. What cues you to perform the habit? What is your reward? 
2. Determine: Next, decide on the bad habits that need to be broken. Ask yourself why this habit needs to be eliminated.
3. Prioritize: Only focus on one; the one that will provide the greatest benefit if broken. For example, between meal snacking might have helped put thirty extra pounds on you.
4. Reward: What is the reward you will receive if you change the habit? There has to be a reward or goal established, or there isn’t a reason to break the habit. For example, how proud your daughter will be when you walk her down the aisle at her wedding. 
5. Cues/Reminders: Initially, you will need to cue yourself—remind yourself what you are trying to accomplish. Write yourself notes, schedule time in your daily planner, stop buying something, or leave out something as a reminder. 
6. Track Results: Every day you succeed in breaking the habit, pat yourself on the back. Write it in your journal or on a chart. If you are losing weight, for example, track the weight loss.

And always remember to …

Embrace your good habits

A work in progress

This is part two of my “Words of Power” series. 

The following statement is the springboard for change in my life.

I won’t let any person or situation ruin my day

If I believe this, then …

I choose how I respond to every situation

If I regularly remind myself that nothing is going to ruin my day, it becomes much easier to choose how I react to any given situation.

If I elect to take a deep breath and count to ten before responding, my perspective of the situation can change. And, if my perspective changes, it can change for others that are involved. My reaction (response) can make the difference as to how the rest of the day will play out for me.

This process continues to be a work in process for me. I am substantially better than I was just a year ago, but there is still work needed. 

For example, if something happens that I consider negative, I can be angry, frustrated, hurt or disappointed. This week’s experience to test my belief in the process started with my wife finding a nail in my van’s tire. I was initially disappointed and a little frustrated, but I decided that nothing was going to ruin my day. I felt the situation was actually positive because the tire wasn’t flat. I could still drive it to the tire shop.

So, everything was good. I called the shop to see if I could get in that morning and they said bring it down. All good, right?  When I arrived at the shop, there were only two people waiting. Still good, right? Well, two hours later my van was still waiting to be worked on. I reminded myself that it could be worse. And, finally, three hours later the tire was repaired. I kept reminding myself this was all good as I paid my bill and drove home. 

Well, something wasn’t right because when I arrived home, I was frustrated. And, when my loving wife tried to empathize, I misunderstood her intentions. So, I ended up letting something that I had no control over decide my day as well as my wife’s day. Not good. Apologizes were needed and the point of this post proven.

As I mentioned, it is still a work in progress. J

Our mind can be a powerful weapon

I have this rolodex on my desk called “The Attitude Builder.” There are 52 cards containing positive affirmations and helpful statements. I can change the saying every week, or as often as I want.

When I am working on something in my life, I will flip through the cards and BAM! There it is - the answer I need.  Last week, this card came up:

“The most powerful force I have is what I say to myself and believe.”

And, today, this card appeared:

“I am controlled by what I accept and believe.” 

Two powerful messages that I know, but don’t always remember.

I cherry-picked the following comments from the backs of these two cards.  

• My reality is what I accept and believe. 
•  Right or wrong, true or false–that is not the determining factor. I am what I think about. 
• I choose to believe only things that are loving and beneficial.

Yes, there have been times in my life where my negativity created a crappy day. It wasn’t too long ago that two things went wrong that morning and my next comment was, “What else could go wrong today?” 

When I came into my office and read “The most powerful force I have is what I say to myself and believe,” the light turned on. I reflected on the previous two moments and chuckled. Those occurrences had nothing to do with the remainder of my day except in my imagination.

Living with Kennedy’s Disease is “mind over matter.” If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. :-)

Life doesn’t have to be as difficult as I make it sometimes. My attitude and my ‘self-talk’ can create moments of chaos or moments of joy. I’ll choose joy anytime. And, that is why these attitude builder cards are so powerful for me.

What “living with” means to me

The word ‘living’ has an abundance of meanings, but when I write “living with Kennedy’s Disease” I mean “the pursuit of a certain lifestyle.” In other words, you are still enjoying life as best you can considering your current situation.

Often when a man is first diagnosed with Kennedy’s Disease he goes through the denial and the ‘why me’ phases. If he cannot come to grips with the reality of his situation, he might shut down ... partially give up. In my opinion, this is one of the worst things that can happen to him.

This blog is named, ‘Living with Kennedy’s Disease’ for a reason. It is important to find a level of acceptance that allows you to continue to enjoy the life you have been given. Many times I have mentioned the blessing and curse of a slowly progressive disorder. The curse is that when you finally accept your current condition, the disease progresses enough that you have to accept your latest and newest loss of strength and capabilities.  The blessing is that the condition ‘slowly’ progresses giving you ample time to adjust for the changes that are occurring.

Living with Kennedy’s Disease means finding that balance within yourself that allows you to still accept your condition, but also to live your life to the fullest. You do that by not giving up or giving in to the mental and emotional aspects of the disease.  You find a way ‘to live’ by understanding that life continues to go on whether you choose to participate or not.
 

Gratitude Journal

Comments like, “what’s the use” or “it doesn’t matter anyway” are not used, no matter how frustrated you are at the moment. To help you ‘live’ a more fulfilling life, I recommend starting a ‘gratitude journal’. It can be as simple as writing something on a piece of paper at bedtime or using a tablet or binder for your thoughts. The tools are not important. It is the process that matters.

Whenever you are feeling a little down or frustrated or outright angry, jot down the things in your life you are thankful for. It could be your wife and children (if you are married) as well as your family and friends. List their names and also write down something about them that you are thankful for. It could be your pets, your work, your understanding boss, the house you own, where you live, etc.  Just write it down!

The key is to draw your thoughts away from the negative and replace them with positive ones. This shouldn’t be a hokey (fake) list and comments; it should come from the heart.

I know that most of my readers will never give this gratitude journal a try, but for those that do, they might find that it makes a subtle yet positive difference in their life.

Courage to face the future

One of my favorite blogs is Goodlife Zen. In her early November article Mary Jaksch defines courage as ‘the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.’

The article lists seven tips to increase your courage. I felt many of these are appropriate for those of us living with Kennedy’s Disease and added a few comments to her bullet points.
 

Tip #1: Start something new.

It’s hard to be a beginner again. It takes courage to learn something new and to be a newbie in amongst more experienced people. [As our abilities to perform many physical functions wane, it is important to try other things that can still be enjoyed and accomplished. Start a new hobby. Join a club that organizes events that you enjoy. Anything new will challenge you mentally. And a wonderful side benefit is gaining new friends with similar interests.]
 

Tip #2: Go somewhere you’ve never been before.

Too often our life is on a track that has little variation. Do you always take the same way home from work? Or go to the same restaurant for a meal? Try going somewhere new. [Yes, I definitely know that traveling or going to places new becomes more difficult over time. But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Initially, be conservative in your thoughts and expectations. Pick someplace locally and then regionally. The point is just getting out and about with family and friends and hopefully making new friends.]
 

Tip #3: Say what is in your heart.

Do you sometimes suppress the true words that want to come out? I’m sure we all do that at times. What holds us back is fear. A good way to train your courage is to say something positive about a person – even if you’re nervous of how they’ll receive what you say. [We still have something to say and we need to be heard. Just because we are no longer physically capable of standing up (for long), that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stand up for our rights and the rights of others (see Tip #5).]
 

Tip #4: Speak to someone you don’t know.

Imagine being at a party where you don’t know most people. That can feel daunting. You’ll feel a lot better, if pluck up your courage and start a conversation with someone you don’t know. Ask them what they do, where they live, or what they are passionate about. [Almost weekly I hear from someone living with Kennedy’s Disease who feels isolated (alone). That feeling must be terrible. Make a point of talking to someone, anyone, who you meet or want to meet. Don’t let your fears hold you back. Make a positive comment, ask a question, do whatever it takes to break the ice with a stranger. You never know, he/she might become your friend.]
 

Tip #5: Stand up for someone else.

If you see someone being treated unfairly, what do you do? ... Try standing up for someone else – you will feel your courage grow. [There are all kinds of victims and those of us living with Kennedy’s Disease need to become advocates for these people. See my comments to #3 above]
 

Tip #6: Learn to shout.

... I’ve experienced that many people have forgotten how to shout. Their self-esteem is so low that they don’t know how to raise their voice. I suggest learning to shout. You can go to martial art classes, walk on the beach, or shout into a pillow. The shout that comes from the belly is a tremendous source of energy and courage. [At some point in our life we were probably told to hold it down. However, shouting can work wonders in relieving stress and generating energy. Did you ever play any sports? What were you taught to do in difficult situations? Shout! Yell! Get pumped! Try it sometime. It might make a world of difference.]
 

Tip #7: Dress how you want to.

Our society has strong rules about how we are supposed to dress at certain occasions. Maybe you have a dress-code at work that you need to follow. Make sure that you intentionally dress how you like when it’s leisure time. Express yourself through your clothing. [I use to wear a three-piece suit and looked good in it. I found that my suits just don’t look the same when I am sitting in a wheelchair. You can still look good, however, but it might take some experimentation. The key message here is to not let your dress decide whether you participate or not. Get involved!]




Everything mentioned above has one important message. Participate, become engaged, and don’t let your fears and health issue hold you back any more. There is always something to do, someone to meet, something of interest, etc. if we just have to courage to take the first step (or the first rotation of the chair’s wheel).

Happy New Year!

An All-Terrain Wheelchair – Alright!

I have been an outdoors person (a nature lover) since I was a kid. Hiking in the woods or mountains were my favorite pastimes. I miss not being able to just go without thinking about capabilities, getting stuck, or worrying about the weather.

Well, Mike Goynes called me yesterday to discuss the ultimate ‘power’ wheelchair. He found it online and wanted to share his ‘dream-chair’. There is an old saying, “The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys.” This chair proves it is true!

It is the Viking 4x4 All Terrain Wheelchair. The six videos of what this baby can do are amazing. I not saying that I would want to try everything they demonstrated, but it is something else to watch.

This bad-boy appears to handle it all without much trouble. It has four-wheel drive and over 4” of ground clearance that allows it to climb stairs or curbs, go up and down steep hills (up to 36 degrees) and comfortably cross beaches of loose sand or mud while still turning on a dime, if necessary. And, after watching the videos I can also see why you might want the four-point seatbelt option.

Even more fascinating is the seating system. “The Viking 4 X 4 has an automatic digitally programmed vertical seating system that maintains a vertical position at all times. Weather climbing a hill or going down a hill the driver will always be able to maintain a vertical position.”

The chair even comes has two sets of tires available (standard and ‘all-terrain’). Even with all these capabilities, it can still travel at 4 mph and run for up to 19 miles without needing a charge.

I had no idea how much this baby would cost ... $15-20,000 was my best guess. I was shocked to see a sticker price of <$10,000 with free shipping. There is even a promotional coupon that takes another $800 off the price.

Yup, that is still a lot of money, but boy would it be fun. 
A man’s gotta dream, right!

Going where no man has gone before

With mixed emotions I watched the last launch of the space shuttle today.

I loved growing up in the 60s where the United States was in a space race with the Soviet Union.  I remember going to NASA at Huntsville, AL in the 70s and being impressed.  I will not forget my visit to the Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC in the 90s.

Yet, nothing I have experienced can compare to being there … at Cape Canaveral ... for an actual launch.  It was twenty-seven years ago that I was fortunate enough to receive a VIP pass to a shuttle launch.  My son was thirteen at the time and my wife and I decided that this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for him (and  for us).

We were there ...

It was early morning and the weather was perfect.  We were in the front row with the astronauts who were explaining  what was taking place inside the shuttle’s cockpit.  The anticipation as the giant digital clock counted down was a killer.  As the primary rockets fired, a roar came from the crowd.  Then, the spectators became silent as the shuttle lifted off and began its initial 90 degree rotation.  The earth began to shake and the roar of the engines caused the adrenaline to flow in all of us watching.

Huddled together, my wife, son and myself, we felt a flood of hot wind pound against our bodies as the shuttle rose skyward.  For several minutes we were mesmerized … focused … on the shuttle as it shrunk into the morning sky.

When it was over we continued to just stand there with smiles on our faces.  We were both exhilarated and exhausted.  We had been there to see a part of history unfold that morning.  We had shared an experience that would be remembered for the rest of our lives.

Today’s launch brought back so many great memories.  It was almost like we were there again.  I hate to see the space shuttle program end.  I do not want to see us take a back seat to other nations and corporations in regards to space exploration when we led the way for so many years.  Our country’s leadership had a vision.  They set unbelievable goals.  These goals forced the greatest minds to figure improbable and almost impossible ways to make things happen.

And, our space program brought with it advances in technology and research that have kept us in the leadership position for over four decades.  These advances have been the springboard for other advances in science, medicine, research, automation, computerization and business.

It caused us to dream ... and to ask 'what if'

Were you one of those kids that looked up in the night sky every so often wondering if you could see Sputnik or the shuttle in the heavens above?  When we first landed on the moon, did you sit out on your back deck and just stare at it … knowing that our astronauts were walking on the moon?  I know I was and so was my son.

Because of our space program, Star Trek became a real possibility … and no longer science-fiction.  What happened to that vision?  Why does our current leadership feel it is no longer important to be the first and the best?  How many years will it take us to get back on the path to … boldly go where no man has gone before?

If the world were 100 people

I came across this fascinating website the other day.  I agree with the article in Digital Inspiration that when you consider the world’s population of 6,927,434,849, it is difficult to put it into perspective when you try to break it down into sub-categories.  Yes, we could round it off to about 7 billion (give or take a hundred million), but it is still hard to grasp.  That is what makes the concept below so intriguing and easy to understand.

The Concept:

The World of 100 – by Toby Ng.  If the world were a village of 100 people, how would the composition be? The set of 20 posters is built on statistics about the spread of population around the world under various classifications. The numbers are turned into graphics to give another sense a touch – Look, this is the world we are living in.


Digital Inspiration described it this way:  World statistics are often hard to remember but if the same data is presented with visuals and in relative form, things can get a little simple. That’s exactly how designer Toby Ng is approaching the problem with his World of 100 project. He has created a set of 20 posters around various world statistics but instead of talking in billions, numbers that are hard to visualize, the theme revolves around a village that has exactly 100 people.  Example:  If the world were a village of 100 people, 14 won't be able to read - that number is easier to visualize than 14% of 7 billion.
 
Our Village:
 
Today’s article is a visual look at our little village of 100 people (the world population).  I have selected five key areas (of the 20 shown on the website above).  Please take a moment and really look at each of these posters.  They tell a story. 


 


 


Even though it would be nice to be one of the ‘6’ in the ‘Money’ poster above, we still have much to be thankful for … especially our freedom.