Be still and know …

Mary Jaksch of GoodLife Zen had another excellent article this week on “How catastrophe can open a door to a new life.”  It was a guest post by Christopher Foster.  His article brought to mind how those of us living with Kennedy’s Disease must make a transition from who we thought we were to who we now are, and will eventually evolve into.

In the article, Mr. Foster discusses the situations in his life that truly challenged him.  He discussed that these experiences where actually a “doorway to true freedom.”  I found this analogy interesting.  In order to experience (truly live) your life after something terrible happens, you have to be able to close the door on that old life (quit clinging to your past) before you can open the next door (begin living once again).  Mr. Foster commented:

“I have discovered that while external forms inevitably perish somewhere along the way, there is something that does not perish — the timeless peace and happiness that is always with us at the core of our own being.
 
I’ve discovered there is joy on the other side of despair as I persevere, and open my heart more fully to the beauty and truth that has been calling me for so long.”

This made me consider some of my earlier posts where I discussed the transition that we must all go through in hopes of gaining acceptance for our health issue and its impact on ourselves and our families.  Acceptance is the only way we can move on with our lives.

Mr. Foster went on to explain that even though he wanted to believe that peace and happiness lies within us all, “Somewhere deep down I still believed my security and happiness lay in external things …”  I liken this comment to my thoughts that with the loss of my muscles and capabilities to do physical things that I was less of a man … and no longer whole.



He goes on to explain the six things that he discovered to help him find that inner peace and wholeness.  I have taken excerpts from his findings and included them below along with my thoughts.

1.  Be persistent:  “We come into this world with a unique gift to give that only we can give. Never lose faith in your own destiny — the unique work that is yours to do.”  For me, this includes things like my writing and my blog.  It also means that I can also be a source of inspiration for others including my family, friends and those living with Kennedy’s Disease.  It also means that I still have work to do … that there are still contributions I can make.

2.  Be kind to yourself:  “… But drastic change is here, whether we like it or not, and it means we must be kind to ourselves and our capacities of mind and body. They are under a lot of pressure and it’s probably going to increase.”  Yes, I have and continue to be going through some drastic changes in my life.  I have to quit beating up on myself and learn to live with “who I am today” … not who I was.  Acceptance of “what is” would help.

3.  Be resilient, and trust:  “When we suffer a serious loss of some kind, it can be hard to keep our trust in life. But have you ever noticed how a tree handles itself when a strong wind begins to blow? …  The branches do not resist what is happening. They simply sway gracefully back and forth until the wind dies, and then they’re still. So it must be for us when tough things happen in our lives. Don’t collapse and give up, but don’t be rigid and try to hang onto the old. Between these two extremes is a middle way that will bring you through whatever trouble may come.”  Forty years ago I heard Buckminster Fuller speak at Cypress College.  It was one of the most inspiring lectures I have ever heard.  He also used the tree in a storm analogy to explain how rigid we build things believing that the stronger the better.  But, ‘mother nature’ creates things that are pliable and give when pressed, but return to their natural state afterwards.  Hanging on … clinging … to the past only causes more stress.  Wishing that I was still who I was thirty years ago is unproductive.  And truthfully, I would not want to be the same person I was back.  In the last thirty-plus years I believe I have grown and evolved and am a far better person.  I need to trust that there is still a purpose for me and accept my current capabilities because the  best is yet to come.

4.  Find a symbol of strength:  “Symbols can be important. I have two prized possessions that represent strength to me, the ability to handle whatever comes up in my life.”  I have my symbols in my office.  They are important to me because they represent something good.  The memories that come with these symbols  cannot be tarnished.  My symbols redirect any negative thoughts to ones of love, acceptance and happiness.

5.  Give thanks for the masterpiece you are:  “Life can sometimes seem hard and difficult. Heck, the traumas that come to us all can seem unbearable at times.  But the truth is that life is not difficult. It is easy, and simple, and very beautiful. But we don’t know this until we are willing to simply be still for a moment – and feel, really feel, the perfection of our own true being that is always with us.  You are a masterpiece. … untouched and untroubled by any of the catastrophes of our lives – just waiting to be revealed in all the little moments of our living.”  Wow, how beautiful is this!  I know that I occasionally look at what I lost (my strength, my perception of manhood, etc.) rather than what I still have (family, friends, health, etc.) and who I am today.  When I take the time to give thanks for all that I have and have experienced, life still looks pretty darn good.

6.  Be still and know:  “Catastrophe has taught me that stillness is not empty at all, but is the very source of wholeness and happiness and wisdom. Stillness is my compass ...”  Yes, taking the time to contemplate, meditate and pray centers me and redirects any negative thoughts to ones of peace, love and thankfulness.  By just taking a moment a few times each day, I realize that “Life is good.”



I wish you a safe, healthy and happy Thanksgiving.  Thanks also for taking the time to read my ramblings and occasionally commenting.  Your readership and thoughts mean a lot.