Frustration is the anchor that keeps us from setting sail

This last week two people have talked about their frustrations with living with Kennedy's Disease. This is definitely an issue with many of us and is something that is difficult to overcome. I did a search through my blog posts and found there were numerous articles (or portions of articles) that focused on this issue of frustration. I read some of these articles on frustration and acceptance and picked out some key points that I want to reemphasize today.

1. "Frustration" "Sometimes I become frustrated because I want to help more, but I am limited in the ways I can provide assistance." This is how I feel when someone comes to me for help and I just cannot quite provide the right words or support.
   
   
   
2. "Prerequisites are required before moving on" "Letting go is definitely something that does not come easily. Most people want to hold on to what they have or even improve it in some way. Letting go or releasing something we cherish is probably the most difficult thing most of us will ever have to do. For example, most of us tend to take our health for granted ... especially when we are young. I know I did. As we mature, however, and are around people with health issues ... especially those we love ... reality begins to set in. Health is a blessing and a daily one at that because we never know what tomorrow will bring. Part of the difficulty of accepting our current condition is the fear of what tomorrow will bring. Fear of the future (of what might come or might lose) is most often the reason we do not want to let go. We want to hold on to today and even wish for that miracle that will bring back normalcy (as we knew it). Even though I consider myself a somewhat happy person, until I can let go (truly accept my condition), I can never really move on (find true happiness)." What I am talking about here are "false expectations" and "acceptance." Trying to hold on to what we were, or currently have, is a losing proposition and one that will always end in disappointment and frustration.
   
   
3. "Patience is a Virtue" "I cannot blame Kennedy's Disease for my loss of patience. I believe that a lot of the problem stems from me not mentally and emotionally adjusting to the fact that I am no longer the man of the house. More importantly, I need to adopt a positive mental attitude when it comes to any kind of project or routine. My mantra needs to be something like: Patience fosters acceptance … and … Realism tempers expectations. Above all, I need to remember that, "Impatience and unrealistic expectations result in frustration and anger." The key message is this last sentence. Dr. Thomas Hora teaches that "There is no should or should not; there is only what is." I get into trouble because I believe that I - should - still be able to do something. If I would take the time to examine my current capabilities before beginning some task or project, I would be more accepting and comfortable with my current capabilities and expected results.
   
   
   
4. "What the heck is PMA and why is it important" "This too will pass is an important saying to me, now, more than ever. If I do become "bummed out" or negative, just telling myself that this feeling will pass helps loads and starts me on the way towards a more positive tomorrow. This too will pass is like the direction sign at a crossroad in life. Do I take the negative way or the positive way? What way will be easier in the end?"  I believe I have a positive mental attitude. That being said, there are still times that I become frustrated. Telling myself "this too will pass" helps me recognize that the frustrations that I am currently feeling will soon be gone. Knowing that the frustrations will pass also allows me to look ahead rather than dwell on the past or current situation. It works better for me than counting to ten.
   
   
   
5. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" "I also believe that nothing comes into existence uninvited. Everything that happens in my life is a potential learning experience depending upon how I respond to the situation. I further believe that these erroneous beliefs and misconceptions that I still carry with me are being tested repeatedly until I eventually understand and accept reality."  When I am frustrated, the saying that "nothing comes into existence uninvited" helps me recognize that I have fully accepted my current situation. Taking a moment to understand what brought on the current frustration or anger is helpful. It normally is not the result of what just happened. The frustration or anger is usually the result of something (or several things) that happened in the recent past that I have not truly accepted yet.
   
   
   
6. "The Never-Ending Learning Process" "Feeling overwhelmed is something most of us with Kennedy's Disease have experienced. I have often said that the mental and emotional aspects of the disease are as difficult to handle as the physical ones. Frustration over not being able to perform a simple task is something that I still have not learned to live with." This sensation of feeling overwhelmed is usually the result of having unrealistic expectations or not being able to say "No" when asked to do, or participate in, something. It often results in more frustrations. Dr. Hora teaches that "Yes is okay and so is No." We should not feel that we always have to say yes when asked to do something. It is also okay to say no.
   
   
   

As you can tell by the length of this post and all the previous posts on this subject, I am still working on this process of accepting who I am and what I can do. I am not certain I will ever reach the point of "total acceptance," but I sure hope so. Until then, I will have moments of frustration and anger.

I would be interested in knowing how you deal with this issue.