Many of my friends and family believe I accept living with Kennedy’s Disease better than most. I’m not so certain about that. I know of many men that are well centered and accepting. Perhaps we just hide it better than others do. Or, we aren’t smart enough to understand what is happening. Whatever the reason, I’m comfortable being this way.
I have my down days. I still wonder what the future has in store for me. Probably the only difference is that I don’t dwell on these thoughts. I am too busy ‘living’ to wallow in the muck of uncertainty.
Meditation helps put things in perspective. There is something called ‘noting’ that works for me. Whenever I find myself dwelling on a thought, I notice it (acknowledge it), apply a label to it (oh, that’s a fear of what might happen to me), and move on. I don’t study it or try to understand it; I just notice the thought and then discard it by refocusing on my breathing. If I tell myself to forget it, or force myself to think of something else, it won’t work. But, by just acknowledging the thought and then refocusing on my breath, it no longer is important and stops nagging me.
I also have a couple of good hobbies and social events that allow me to focus on something productive. If I’m engaged in an activity or a conversation, negativity can’t seem to wedge its way into my thoughts.
I’ll give you an example of a recent event. At the beginning of the year, I was in a long slide that had me concerned. If things didn’t change, my daily life would be transformed—and not in a positive way. After a couple of days of wallowing, I ‘noted’ it, and then refocused.
Almost immediately, my thoughts redirected to what I could do and what has helped in the past. I gradually worked my way through the issue and am better now (stronger) than before I started.
We are all human. We have concerns and fears. However, that doesn’t mean they have to control our lives.
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Friday, May 5, 2017
Monday, September 21, 2015
Greatest Regret
I read an
interesting article by Rachel
Gillett this morning. It was a synopsis of a study of
1,500
people 65 and older who were asked what their greatest regret in life
is.
“What do
you regret when you look back on your life? That's what Karl Pillemer, professor
of human development at Cornell University, founder and director of the Cornell
Institute for Translational Research on Aging asked his study subjects. … he
refers to his subjects as ‘the experts’ because they hold more trued-and-true
wisdom than any self-help book or pundit could possibly offer.
… Pillmer
writes on Quora that he expected ‘big-ticket items’ like affairs, bad business
deals, or addiction as his experts’ biggest regrets.
… He was therefore unprepared for the answer they often
gave:
I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life worrying
I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life worrying
… A critically
important strategy for regret reduction, according to the elders we
interviewed, is increasing the time spent on concrete problem solving and
drastically eliminating time spent worrying. One activity enhances life,
whereas down the road the other is deeply regretted as a waste of our all-too-short
time on Earth.”
Many of us
living with Kennedy’s Disease or other conditions that currently do not have a
treatment or cure, have probably gone through and occasionally still go through
moments of concern – wondering what tomorrow will bring. It is natural to fear
the unknown. Yet, as many of these 1,500 people commented, worrying didn’t do
any good.
Perhaps
Bobby McFerrin knew what he was singing about with his 1988 song, "Don't
Worry - Be Happy." I'm humming the song right now as I post this. It sure
is a catchy tune.
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