Still lots to learn

Living with Kennedy's Disease provides an opportunity for learning more about life and myself every day. 

I believe "nothing comes into existence uninvited." Everything that happens in my life is a potential learning experience depending upon how I respond to the situation. 

I further believe these erroneous beliefs and misconceptions I carry with me are tested repeatedly until I eventually understand and accept reality. If I react negatively to someone's actions, it is because I still have not fully accepted that everyone is fighting his or her own personal battle.

The quotes below are from Maya Angelou, a well-known and respected author and poet.

I've learned that…

• No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. 

• You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. 

• Life sometimes gives you a second chance. 

• You should not go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. 

• If you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. 

• Whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. 

• Even when I have pains, I do not have to be one. 

• I still have a lot to learn. 

The "life goes on, and it will be a better tomorrow" comment above is similar to one of my favorite sayings, "This too will pass." My father use to remind me when I was a teenager, "it is not the end of the world," when I would over react to something negative in my life. Even though I did not want to hear it at the time, he was always right. 

In addition, the "decide something with an open heart" comment above goes hand-in-hand with Plato's quote that "everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Just recognizing that everyone is tested in his or her own unique way makes it easier to "accept the situation and move on."

Ms. Angelou has many wonderful quotes and sayings. One I particularly like is "a bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." I hope you understand I am singing today even though I still do not have all the answers.

One thing is for certain, "I still have a lot to learn."

I Am Not A Victim

[This is another take on a 2009 post of mine]

One of my favorite saying is, "I choose my attitude in every situation." I choose not to consider myself a victim.

I will date myself by remembering the old Timex commercials where the watch would go through some ridiculous situation that no watch should survive and then John Cameron would say, "Timex—It takes a licking, but keeps on ticking."

A little while back, there was an article in the Goodlife Zen titled, "Why Some People Thrive No Matter What Happens.” The guest author, Gail Brenner, commented, “The key to remaining resilient is to not identify yourself as a victim.”

The dictionary defines "resilient" as “recovering readily from adversity; rebounds easily.”

Ms. Brenner commented in her article, "Resilient people understand that anything can happen. They realize that the world is not fair and that difficult things can happen to the most wonderful people. They figure out how to pick themselves up and move forward. It might take a long time and happen in tiny increments, but the predominant movement is forward—toward living and not just existing."

Another key comment in the article was, "Being resilient means understanding that we cannot control what happens to us, but that we can control how we relate to what happens. We get to choose. We can carry around the tragic events of our lives, letting them color the way we view ourselves and the world, or we can prosper." 

"…People who are resilient accept what happened, but resist defining themselves by it."

The author mentioned a study that revealed several qualities of resilient people. “Resilience People have:

• Strong relationships with people who support, encourage, and reassure 
• The willingness to allow strong feelings – anger, grief, fear – without avoiding them 
• Confidence – an attitude of "I can," rather than "I can't" 
• Trust in oneself and one's abilities 
• The capacity to learn from life experiences” 

“Resilient people nurture themselves, and seek help when needed."

Photo: https://elixirconsulting.com.au

What—Me Worry?

Many of my friends and family believe I accept living with Kennedy’s Disease better than most. I’m not so certain about that. I know of many men that are well centered and accepting. Perhaps we just hide it better than others do. Or, we aren’t smart enough to understand what is happening. Whatever the reason, I’m comfortable being this way.

I have my down days. I still wonder what the future has in store for me. Probably the only difference is that I don’t dwell on these thoughts. I am too busy ‘living’ to wallow in the muck of uncertainty.

Meditation helps put things in perspective. There is something called ‘noting’ that works for me. Whenever I find myself dwelling on a thought, I notice it (acknowledge it), apply a label to it (oh, that’s a fear of what might happen to me), and move on. I don’t study it or try to understand it; I just notice the thought and then discard it by refocusing on my breathing. If I tell myself to forget it, or force myself to think of something else, it won’t work. But, by just acknowledging the thought and then refocusing on my breath, it no longer is important and stops nagging me.

I also have a couple of good hobbies and social events that allow me to focus on something productive. If I’m engaged in an activity or a conversation, negativity can’t seem to wedge its way into my thoughts.

I’ll give you an example of a recent event. At the beginning of the year, I was in a long slide that had me concerned. If things didn’t change, my daily life would be transformed—and not in a positive way. After a couple of days of wallowing, I ‘noted’ it, and then refocused.

Almost immediately, my thoughts redirected to what I could do and what has helped in the past. I gradually worked my way through the issue and am better now (stronger) than before I started.

We are all human. We have concerns and fears. However, that doesn’t mean they have to control our lives.

The only real disability in life is a poor attitude

Living with Kennedy's Disease, or any progressive disorder, is challenging. It is also a learning experience. It is easy to become caught up in the 'feeling sorry for yourself" mode. But, all that does is make life for you and your loved ones miserable.

Many years ago I came across this poem, "The Man in the Glass," by Peter Dale Wimbrow, Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

and the world makes you king for a day.

Just go to the mirror and look at yourself

and see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father, mother or wife

whose judgement upon you must pass.

The fellow whose verdict counts in your life

is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,

For he’s with you clear to the end,

And you’ve passed your most  difficult test,

If the man in the glass is your friend.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But the final reward will be heartache and tears,

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

The point of this journey is the journey itself. It can only be successful if you live in a way that allows you to enjoy the life you are given.

Live Each Day Like It’s Your First, Not Your Last

Most of my followers know about my Words of Power. The one I find myself using quite often as my Kennedy’s Disease progresses is, 

“I choose my attitude in every situation.” 

I find that much of my frustrations are the result of me clinging for dear life to my past abilities and capabilities. When I take a step back and change my attitude, it changes my perspective. When that happens, it is amazing how different I feel. I now become a problem solver rather than a problem hater.

I ran across this LifeHacker blog article and thirteen-minute video and need to share it. It is an important message about perspectives. Click on the link below for the full article and video.

LiveEach Day Like It’s Your First

“In a recent TEDx talk., Leanne Delle, a writer and registered nurse, explains the problem with “last day” mentality. While focusing on an expiration date can be motivating for some people, it’s stressful for most of us. It has all the makings of an existential crisis. It makes us feel we’re not doing enough and we’re not sure what we can or should do in that limited amount of time. Instead of living each day like it’s your last, Delle suggests the opposite:

Live each day as though it’s your first. If we live each day full of wonder and appreciation while discovering a genuine sense of joy, I believe that motivation for our truest passion would be more likely to present itself...I would argue that we can deal with day-to-day routine and responsibilities while pursuing our passion. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. …”

This guy made lemonade

If a picture is worth a thousand words, the video I just watched is an entire novel. 

Sometimes when you are feeling a little sorry for yourself (or your condition), all it takes is something like this to refocus my emotions. I continually mention the importance of having the right ATTITUDE.  This gentleman definitely has a good one.

It reminds me of the saying, “When life gives you lemons – make lemonade.” Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/embed/H9S3n_tILKo

Picture Credit: pippalou191 | 135 | 1

An essential part of living a healthy life

I read the short article below the other day and thought it needed to be shared. I strongly believe that a positive mental attitude (PMA) and positive self-feedback (PSF) are important aspects of anyone’s health. I have seen and experienced how being positive can make a difference in how you feel and how you look forward to the day ahead. Yes, it is easy to become frustrated, angry, depressed and anxious especially when you are dealing with an incurable progressive disorder, but that doesn’t mean we have to wander through life feeling that way.

For example, it seems that when you are down and tell yourself how tired (or weak, or sick, or bummed out) you are, the rest of the day goes downhill. And, anything else that goes wrong you attribute to how you felt earlier ... just a continuation of a bad day. At times like this it is easy to begin a negative dialogue (I should have stayed in bed, why did I ever start this anyway, I think I’ll just sit here and do nothing). How do you feel after that? Worse, right?

Positive Affirmations Work

On the other hand, if you are down and begin feeding yourself some positive affirmations (I am feeling better already, I’ll feel better after breakfast, I can’t wait to start XXX, after I exercise I know I will feel better, etc.), it always amazes me how your outlook changes. Also, if you engage in some productive work to take your mind off how you are feeling, you often start feeling better.

I like the comment below that “thinking positively is exercise for the mind.” My brother, who also has Kennedy’s Disease, is twelve years older than me. I swear you will not meet a more positive person. Even if things are going poorly, he always seems to look on the bright side and usually ends up saying something like, “It could be a lot worse.”

I need a laugh
From my personal experience, if I am feeling down (or sick), I watch “Blazing Saddles” or “Young Frankenstein”. It is amazing how laughing for a couple of hours changes my outlook on life.

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How Positive Thinking Keeps You Healthy

Orion Jones - BigThink

What's the Latest Development?

It is no coincidence that you feel more energetic and relaxed when you are thinking positively, or that you feel lazy and tired if you are thinking negatively. Hormones secreted by the body, which are then carried into the blood stream, greatly affect how we feel. The sensations of impatience and pressure which accompany anger are caused by stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine. And it is the brain which controls the release of such hormones, influencing heart rate, blood pressure and breathing patterns.

What's the Big Idea?

Thinking positively is exercise for the mind. Even though it may not come easily, it remains an essential part of living a healthy life. In anecdotal cases, some medical patients have beaten odds stacked highly against them by refusing to believe a negative prognosis, instead surrounding them with family, friends and comedy films. Norman Cousins, former editor of theSunday Review, was one such case. He outlived his doctor's expectations by 26 years after being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful and degenerative spine disease.