Looking beyond the moment

A mother wrote me this week after reading my article, “The Only Disability in Life is a Bad Attitude.”   Her son was in a motorcycle accident and now was confined to a wheelchair.  She commented that he was living with a lot of anger.  His attitude towards his parents has become very negative and no matter what they do he seems to always respond with anger and negativity.  He often will not talk with them at all.   The mother still lives with hope that someday he will recognize how much they love him and once again be open and responsive to their support.

When something like this accident happens, there is often a lot of anger that builds up inside.  You feel that anger and know it is not healthy, but you have no way to release it.  When I was going through some troubling times, part of my problem was that I had not discovered another vehicle to release the stress and anger.  Racquetball or running helped do the job when I was younger.  It is amazing how smacking a ball around a small room helps you forget about the bad and focus on the moment at hand.  Today, I can no longer use physical-type stress-relieving techniques.  Yet, I still need to release that anger and stress.



Meditation helps (especially “deep breathing”); hobbies can also help.  Prayer is helpful; especially prayers of thanks and gratitude.  If you are not the praying type, use a “gratitude list.”  Daily take the time to write a list of things you are thankful for.  Keep the list handy and as other thoughts come to mind, jot them down.  Then, before going to bed that night, review your list.

It is amazing how difficult this practice is in the beginning.  We tend to view the worst and that blots out (overshadows) all of the other things taking place in our life.  Getting beyond this initial negativity is not easy, but once you break through that barrier it is amazing how wonderful the world looks around you.  No it is not perfect, but it never was … something always happens that challenges you.  That is when I have to remind myself, “this too will pass.”



You might laugh, but my prayers of thanks are often quite long and occasionally ceaseless.  This morning, for example, I gave thanks for waking up healthy, for being able to still get out of bed and dress myself, for the bowel movement (yes, it is important to me), for a loving wife and children, for our friends and family including their health, for our three critters … I believe you get the idea.  The more often you give thanks (either through prayer or jotting them down) the easier it is to believe and accept that life did not end when you lost your ability to do this or that.  It is especially helpful when something negative happens.  Weighing all the good versus a little bad seems to make a big difference in my day.



Today’s topic made me think of what my state of mind was like thirty-five years ago.  I pulled out my old writings and came across this one and thought it was appropriate.  It appears I was also dissatisfied then even though I was in the prime of my life.

WANDERING

Like a fool in the night,
I was blinded by the light.
I knew there had to be more to life,
for all I had ever known was strife.

I searched through every book
and the Masters tried to give me a look.
The path to finding inner peace now seemed easy to me,
because they had provided the key.

You must do this and you have to do that,
for without these things you cannot pass.
The self is nothing, the Self is everything.
To find your Self, you must first look beyond yourself.

I became more confused and afraid,
but still was hopeful I would find the way.
My knowledge was great, but my experience still none,
Soon I questioned whether I should ever have begun.

Someday soon, I hope to fly,
but until then, peace is still just a glimmer in my eye.