Trust Issues

There is a proverb, “Pride comes before the fall.” For those of us living with Kennedy’s Disease, you can replace ‘pride’ with ‘trust’. I found I could get in a world of trouble if I trust too much.

Before Kennedy’s Disease, I trusted that my muscles and reflexes would be there for me when I needed them. Whether involved in work or play, my muscles and reflexes could be counted on.

For example:

• If I tripped, I would catch myself before I fell. 
• If I dropped something like a tool, ball or cup, almost every time I would catch it before it hit the ground. 
• If I became tired walking, biking or hiking, I would take a short break and everything would be fine. 
• Nothing was ever too far to walk. 
• If something was too heavy, it just meant I needed a friend to help carry it. 
• I never worried about climbing stairs. 
• I never thought about not being able to get up from the ground. 

So here is my story about how ‘trust’ got me in trouble once again. 

Knock on wood, I have not kissed the floor in several years. I always placed safety first and it paid off. For example, one leg is weaker than the other one. I am aware of this and compensate for it. 

Two weeks ago, I was doing my normal standing exercises—the ones I have been doing for years. While turning around, my stronger leg buckled. The tile floor and I became intimately involved with each other. They say love hurts, but so do falls on tile floors.

Two weeks later, I am still struggling with trust issues. Like a jilted lover, I am finding it difficult to forgive and forget. I am not certain I can ever trust that leg again.

Stay safe and upright!